In a milestone that absolutely no one was asking for, the price of drinkable water in Metro City has officially surpassed the price of gasoline.
LifeHydrate, the company that acquired Metro City's water infrastructure in the 2041 privatization wave, announced that the average cost of potable water has reached $8.47 per gallon — compared to $7.89 per gallon for premium gasoline.
"This is market innovation at work. We've created a premium hydration experience that reflects the true value of water. This isn't your grandmother's tap water. This is Optimized Hydration."
— Victoria Price, LifeHydrate CEO
The Product Line
The company's "Optimized Hydration" product line includes:
• LifeHydrate Basic ($5.99/gallon): Meets minimum federal standards for human consumption
• LifeHydrate Plus ($8.47/gallon): Filtered, mineral-balanced, "pH optimized"
• LifeHydrate Premium ($14.99/gallon): Enhanced with electrolytes, vitamins, and "proprietary hydration accelerators"
• LifeHydrate Ultra ($29.99/gallon): Same as Premium, but the bottle is nicer
Standard tap water, once provided by the city at $0.003 per gallon, was discontinued in 2043 after LifeHydrate determined it was "economically unsustainable to provide water at rates that don't reflect its market value."
Consumer Response
Consumer advocates have criticized the pricing structure.
"Water is a human necessity," said advocacy director Jordan Ellis. "You literally die without it. Charging $8 a gallon for something humans cannot survive without is not 'market innovation' — it's extortion."
LifeHydrate disputed this characterization.
"We're not forcing anyone to buy our water," said Price. "There are alternatives. People can collect rainwater, though our subsidiary WeatherRight™ does charge licensing fees for atmospheric water capture. Or they can boil and filter river water, assuming they can afford the energy costs."
When asked why water prices have increased 2,800% since privatization, Price explained, "Infrastructure investments. Quality improvements. Shareholder value optimization. Also, we can."
Human Cost
Metro City residents have struggled to adapt.
"I spend more on water than electricity now," said teacher Patricia Gonzalez, 34. "Last month I had to choose between paying my water bill and buying groceries. I chose water because, you know, death."
"I've started showering at the gym," admitted accountant Marcus Park, 41. "Not to exercise — just to reduce my home water usage. The gym charges $200 a month, but that's still cheaper than showering at home."
Lower-income neighborhoods have been particularly affected. Reports of dehydration-related hospital visits have increased 340% since privatization.
The "Solution"
LifeHydrate has offered a solution: the "Hydration Access Program," which provides Basic-tier water at a 10% discount for verified low-income residents who complete a 47-page application and agree to "lifestyle monitoring."
"We're not heartless," said Price. "We understand that some people can't afford optimal hydration. That's why we offer barely-adequate hydration at a slight discount, in exchange for their behavioral data."
Shares of LifeHydrate rose 6% following the price milestone announcement. The company projects water will reach $12 per gallon by 2047.
"We're just getting started," Price said. "Wait until you see what we charge for air."